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Poetry

 
The poetry is by me and some is by other people too. I add at least one poem a week. Maybe one ever other week.
 
 

*The Window*
 
You closed the window, And it was the world,
the world that wanted to enter, all at once,
the world that gave that great shout,
that great, deep, rough cry
you did not want to hear --- and now
will never call to you again as it called today,
asking your mercy!
 
The whole of life was in that cry:
the wind, the sea, the land
with its poles and its tropics,
the unreachable skys,
the ripened grain in the resounding wheat field,
the think heat above the wine presses,
dawn on the mountains, shadowy woods,
parched lips stuck together longing for
cool water condensed in pools,
and all pleasures, all sufferings,
all loves, all hates,
were in this day, anxiously
asking your mercy...
 
But you were afraid of life,
And you remained alone,
behind the closed and silent window,
not understanding that the world calls to a man
only once that way, and with that kind of cry,
with that great, rough, hoarse cry!
 
-George Kearns

*Identity*

Let them be as a flower,
always watered, fed, guarded, admired,
but harnessed to a pot of dirt.
 
I'd rather be a tall, ugly weed,
clinging on the cliffs, like an eagle
Wind - wavering above high jagged rocks.
 
To have broken through the surface of stone,
to live, to feel exposed to the maddness
of the vast, eternal sky.
To beswayed by the breezes of an ancient sea,
carrying my soul, my seed, beyond the mountains of time
or into the abyss of the bizarre.
 
I'd rather be unseen, and if
then shunned by everyone,
than to be a pleasant smelling flower,
growing in clusters in the fertile valley,
where they're praised, handled, and plucked
by greedy, human hands.
 
I'd rather smell of musty, green stench
than of sweet, fragrant lilac.
If I could stand alone, strong and free,
I'd rather be a tall, ugly weed.
 
-Julio Noboa Polanco

*I Found In You*
Fight the fear that keeps me failing
Fight the battle that as me falling
Fight the nightmares that keep on haunting
Fight the feelings that have me crawling
Stop the thoughts that leave me screaming
Stop the pain that has me crying
Stop the questions that have me doubting
Stop the nights that leave me dying,
You give me strength
I found in you
No one else
Could help me through
Theres nothing else I know
Nothing else I can do
I only know
What I found in you,
End the heartache that leaves me weak
End the scars etched so deep
End the tears that leave me unable to breathe
End the darkness that won't let me see,
Show me things I've never been shown
Show me love I've never known
Show me happiness and security, things I never knew
Show me what I found in you....

 

*Behind this smile*
Behind this smile
are feelings unknown.
Memories so blind,
secrets so cold.

Behind this smile
are tears uncried.
Laughs not given,
thoughts not right.

Behind this smile
are emotions so dark.
Lies untold,
flaws unmarked.

Behind this smile
are meaningless words.
Hopeless dreams,
a heart so disturbed.

 

*Untitled*
Darkness;
what i see.
Lonlyness
takes over me.
Consuming the pain,
it fades away...
But more will come
everyday.
And once again
I'm dying inside.
This time it's for real
as my feelings, I hide..


Jump into the void,
Reside in this hell,
Through agony I live,
Trapped under the surface,
Away from beloved shadow,
Running from the light,
Dive into the fires,
Cry out in bliss,
Crawl upon shattered dreams,
Lay over scorched roses,
Taste the pain from my soul,
Sip from my thirst,
Fly though bloodied skies,
Fall into my world,
Walk in my weary steps,
Die alongside my love.

 

 

I feel it acheing
My heart, its breaking
There's an emptiness I feel that won't go away
It's there every minute of everyday
All the heavyness, and the pain...
Is nearly driving me insane
I am so lonely, and feel all alone
Why can't I find a sweet and caring guy, to call my own
Each day feels the same as the one before
And all these emotions I feel, I can no longer ignore
An ocean of tears roll down my face
As I hope that my depression and loneliness will soon be erased.

 

 

When nothing else is there
And no one is there to take your hand
The darkness creeps into your soul
It's long reach grabs hold of you
Dragging you down into an endless abyss
Where the dark numbs your mind and body
No matter how loud you cry
Or how many tears have fallen
The darkness will never let go
It will only drag you deeper
Falling forever
With only yourself 
And darkness

 

He conquors all,
gives us fights to make us fall.
Makes us cry tears of red.
Wants us to feel like there is no end.
Darkens our heart and fills it with lies.
Making God the one we despise.
Murders us inside of our heads;
not just once, but again and again.
And once we think we'll never frown,
he makes us remember:what goes up must come down.
Fills our mind with dreadful songs.
They repeat in our head all day long.
We know that we'll never be left behind,
for most of us will be with him even after we die.

 

talking, silent.
calm, violent.
warm, freezing.
healthy, bleeding.
laughing, crying.
forsure, undecided.
a mind so confused,
a broken heart.
this is what happens
when your world falls apart.

 


Night time is when it hits me,
when it really gets to me
that I’m all alone.

Night time is when I remember
you and me together.
Oh, I should have known.

Sometimes I sit and wonder
if your feelings now sundered
were ever real.

Oh, I’m sitting here in the cold
Now I’m trying to take hold
of  love so ideal.

*Winds of the Night*
And as I lay in the field,
I hear the whispers of the wind.
While they blow, they do not yield,
to speak of when they once did live.

I realized that these winds used to be
living bodies, walking the earth.
For they talked about their death to me,
they were beaten, tortured, and even worse.

But one of these winds said nothing at all.
So I asked, "What happened to you?"
It replied, "I died, bot not like their falls."
"I killed myself for love so true."

 

 

*Feelings*
You dont know everything I feel
Its sad but true
But what would you say
If you actually knew?

You say you know me
And youre right
But only the things I tell you
Not whats in my mind and out of sight.

No matter
How hard I try
The words wont leave my mouth
Only I muffled cry.

I cant tell you everything
And the reason is clear
I cant because Im scared
In my heart is a lot of fear.

You only know half
Of the pain I feel inside
What I will be
Is what you decide.

 
 

*Unobvious*
You see me smile every day,
you see me joke around and play.
You see me be so trouble free,
you see me so nice, rarely mean.
You see me filled with happieness,
I never realized it was this unobvious.

 

 


*Down*
If i ran away without saying goodbye,
would you care?
If i was struggling and needed help,
would you be there?
If i got really sick or diseased,
would you stick around?
If i got sad to the point of suicide
would you rescue me..
or just leave me down?

 

running always running
its so dark i cant see anything
i stumble and i fall
when i turn to feel the ground for the object
that took my balance i find nothing but cold damp earth
i rise and run again
i dont know where im going
i dont know why im here
i dont know when ill stop
i dont know if ill find what im looking for
i scream and i cry but im never heard
why cant i see????

*CandyLand*
Seal my wounds with butterscotch
Sugarcoat my scars
Turn my world into candyland
Eraser the pain with lemon bars

Now drowning in cotton candy
The sugary fluff of deceit
I sleep in candy clouds
Content in my defeat

Gumdrops tales of broken hearts
Strewn across the floor of honey crisps
Walk down the hall of sweet indulgence
Bodies hung with caramel twists

Walk to hungers dome
Of chocolate and gingerbread
Sell your soul to candyland
Lollipops fill you head

Serene content and kiddie land
Be a child all you wish
Drown your problems in confetti
Swallow them with Swedish fish

Wax lips deliver insincere redemption
You live in the world of the fake
Everything is sugarcoated
Its time for you to wake

 

*Me*
Shadows on my soul
Shadows fitting through my mind
Shadows creeping, weeping
through everything they find
Sunshine breaks through slowly
It dosent last for long
for sunshine causes shadows
and shadows steal my song
My life has been a shadow
just a shadow of what could be
For my soul is just a shadow
of the person that is me

 

*I just might not cry*
Im lonely, if only
you'd open your eyes.
To see and believe me
I just might not cry.
But you choose to disclude
my feelings all day.
So i stopped to try, I just cry
my feelings away.
If you decide to recognize
the lonlyness inside,
then maybe, oh maybe
I just might not cry.

 

*What Lies Underneath*
Under this veil of sanity,
under this innocence in my eyes,
under my faltering smile,
under all my mute cries,
lies countless impurities
and evil plots of deception,
a hurt that cant be explained;
mournful screams with harmful intentions.

 

*Stars*
you see the star shining in the sky
and u see the beauty of light around it
but as you look beyond that beauty and light
you realize that its dark
the sinister darkness of the sky devours that teeny bit of light

its odd how that relates to each and every one of us
the distinct characteristics of us shine
but you look beyond that,
and all the bad things; all of our pain
overcomes that bit of light;
that little bit of hope and happyness,
leaving us in pure darkness

 

My torment;
all my pain
and broken thoughts
inside fractured brain.
I’ll never be the same…
parasitic fantasy,
obliterated memories,
I find I’m my biggest enemy.
How in the hell did I come to this end?
God deliver me from myself and my sins,
quiet the demons of destruction,
save me from this self-corruption—
my blissful insanity.
where is my vanity?
I am bleeding and
I fear I lack
all the strength
to bring
me

 

Running, Falling. 
Crying, Crawling. 
Dark, Silent. 
Alone, Violent. 
Blood, Tears. 
Dreams, Fears. 
Wind, Rain. 
Abuse, Pain. 
Taking, Stealing. 
Emotions, Feeling. 
Apathy, Stares. 
I'm awake, In my nightmares.

 

You're walking through a beach on a warm day.
A thousand grains of sand run through your toes.
Rays of heat shine down on your smoothe skin.
The warm breeze winds in and out through your hair.
Looking up at the sky, you see fluffy white clouds.
People around you are laughing and having a great time.
You're enjoying each moment that passes by.
Then, you stand still, and look out into the ocean.
Everything suddenly seems so different.
The warm air has now become chilly, cooling your body.
The rays of heat coming from the sun have been blocked by clouds.
These clouds are no more fluffy and white, rather dark and gloomy.
All the people who were once around you have left.
You are all alone.
You realize that the few moments that you just enjoyed before will now be corrupted and forgotten.
You feel drops of rain running down your scalp.
Lightning brighens up the sky and thunder shakes the earth.
You have no where to go, and if you yell for help only the surrounding objects will know.
You understand the meaning of it all, and realize the world has turned its back on you.

 


There she is, standing in the corner with the smile on her face.
There she is, going on through life feeling like a big disgrace.
The smile covers up everything. Its a veil to keep her problems unheard.
Stuck in her voided life, broken hopes. Her mind is absurd.
Reality is taking over her, her blood is slowly dying down.
Creating illusions just so she can have something around.
Her dreams seem so unreachable. Love has become ideal.
She wants to see herself bleed. Outward scars make her inner ones heal.
Pain consumes her body mentally. Her interests are now morbid.
What is horrible cant get better. Why is being sad so forbid?
Nobody is looking at her the same anymore. She’s grown bitter.
Its as though her opinion means nothing. Everything is deferred.
So just look. She’s standing in the corner with the smile on her face.
There she is, going on through life feeling like a big disgrace...

A piercing feeling in my heart,
Ripping me in half.
Stumbling, tripping, in the dark.
Half alert and mad.
Going into my own world,
I think about my measures.
I am just a lonely girl,
Who wants nothing but pleasures.
Looking in the wrong places,
I find myself in strife.
Turning to the wrong faces.
Trangressions rule my life.
Unfaithful I have been,
And you are hurt once more.
Unfaithful yet again,
More pain you must endure.
My remorse is so great
But only time shall heal
All the built up hate
You try not to reveal.
I climb out of my world,
Into the realness of life.
I am a complex girl,
Who hates this binding strife.
So I climb back in my world,
It's the safest place to be.
My feelings are a whirl,
But in here they're just for me.
No one has to know
The pain inside this girl.
I cannot let it show,
I'll keep it all here in my world.

 

*Demonic Voices*

Demonic voices inside my head
telling me it will never end.
They creep around so violently.
Invisible chains wont let me free.
And as they weep, I weep as well;
for I know i cannot resign this hell.
The path ahead, full of difficult choices.
I think i'll ignore it all and listen to the Demonic Voices.

 

*My Friend*

I have a friend whos soul is bleeding
from all the torment and the pain.
I have a friend who's always needing
love and comfort, day after day.
This friend of mine i love so dearly,
I want to wipe her tears away.
But the tears keep flowing, the pain keeps going
all because of that dark, dreary day.
Shes in my heart and will be forever.
Im here for her until the day i die.
And when days come where she's really down,
Ill do my best to help her head stay up high.



For a while I thought this tunnel was never going to end.
I thought I was going to be walking in the dark forever.
and when I finally saw what I thought was the end..
it ended up being just a small crack of light in the wall.
Now once again, I am seeing this magnificent light.
This light that shouts out rays of glory and happiness.
Now I just must wait to find out if its the end of the tunnel.
Am I finally going to be out of the darkness?
Or is it just another crack in the wall..?